Letting Go...

Hey there.
Life is hard recently and nothing seems good. Except the fact that I'm still holding on and standing on my own two feet eventually, makes life goes easy as I walk by faith. Been avoiding crowd and busy timeline also some friends gave a space to a room full of thoughts. There were days where I kept on thinking about how great it changes me. It changes my life. And I don't know if I could turn a page.

Back to the day when things turned out blue, and a pack of tissue is my best friend.No one knows how much I cried that day. Never meant to drag people to my own grief, but some people don't really get it. Deep down I feel there was no room to go. All I see is sorrow. I had spent a day all by myself sleeping and crying, crying and sleeping and it changes nothing, but that feeling when I wake up is like...okay. I'm okay.

I have my faith back after all this time arguing and questioning my self in the mirror. No I don't blame anyone. No I don't blame myself either. I just pushing myself too hard to recall what have I done wrong? What did I miss? I took care of it and so grateful for it. And I came up like an empty glass. I'm all empty.

I received many sympathies. But no empathy. Because empathy is bullshit. We'll never go far from sympathy since it's not our destiny. People asking me how I am today. How I feel. How do I suppose to reply those question? I am destroyed. I am broken. I trust no one. I am sorry but I can't help it. I hate talking with anyone. Because the only one who I need to talk with is Him.

It's all become crystal clear now. It is something God has written long time ago as my destiny. And God is Great. He saved my angel at the right time and He saved me with His own way. I belong to You, no matter how hard I want it so bad, we are all Yours. We're going back to You. As You want it, then I want it too.


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me? oh. I have 3 sides. (1) the quite and sweet side (2) the fun and crazy side (3) the side you never want to see